Welcome to Aisle 14 – a weekly article where we will be spilling the tea and throwing shade like it's our J-O-B. As the second week of 2017 comes to a close, I think it’s time for all of us to admit it – the fuckery of 2016 has not ended. Trump is about to be inaugurated – which is problem enough on its own – but to further twist the knife, the pre-inauguration special will be pushing back the return of “Scandal,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” and “How to Get Away With Murder!” I understand that this country needs a new Commander in Chief, but Thursdays are reserved for Shonda Rhimes shows. I’m considering referring to Thursdays as “Shondays” from now on. You could say that Shonda TRUMPS the president?? Speaking of presidents, what fresh hell is it that Sonny, the most beautiful first dog ever, decides to bite someone just days before Trump takes his place in the White House?? Dogs know things, I’m telling you. He saw that moving truck and was like, “no thank you, imma bite this white bitch and be put out of my damn misery before that self-tanning neophyte takes over.”
Meryl Streep made an absolute splash at the Golden Globes, not only by winning the Cecil B. Demile Award, but by using her acceptance speech as a denunciation of Trump’s campaign strategies; criticizing him for openly mocking disabled New York Times reporter, Serge Kovaleski, who has a condition that affects the way his joints move. Streep befittingly received a standing ovation from the crowd, but was later attacked by Trump on his twitter where he called her “one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood.” This is laughable to me, however, because Trump is blithely unaware of the fact that this particular award is one of the highest honors given to members of the entertainment industry, with past recipients including Walt Disney, Judy Garland, Doris Day, Alfred Hitchcock, and Barbra Streisand. Meryl is far from over-rated and we stand behind her in her condemnation of such an ignorant fool.
Viewers of some of TV’s biggest shows are filled with mixed emotions this morning as they found out their favorite shows, though definitely returning, may not return until 2018. HBO’s new drama “Westworld” took almost two years to make it to television so it's no surprise that this one may take extra time for season two. There are reports that the writers want to have every episode written fully before they begin shooting, which doesn't sound like a terrible plan overall but will definitely be time-consuming. FX’s hot new joint “Atlanta” is also rumored to be set back due to the show’s creator and main character, Donald Glover, being offered a position in the up and coming Han Solo movie. FX normally doesn't allow such crossovers to happen during contracts, but says that this is a huge opportunity for Glover and the exposure will hopefully bring more awareness when “Atlanta” returns next year. As for me, I have yet to see either of those shows and American Horror Story just got renewed for two more seasons so I'm good..
In other TV news, this week of housewives was kind of boring. In Atlanta we have Cynthia showing off her breastesses to the other ladies, Matt punching Kenya’s driver, and Kandi firing her ex for tweeting about her. *Snooze* Things are a little more interesting over in Beverly Hillsas Dorit is becoming more and more like a season one Camille, and I'm hating it almost as much as I'm loving it. If Allyson Dubois comes back though, I'll throw my TV into oncoming traffic. I can't believe we are still talking about Erika not wearing panties, but it seems to be the only drama they could come up with so far this season. That is, until Lisa Rinna decides to bring up Kim’s Winona moment and everyone’s jaw hit the floor, myself included. Rinna is just mad that her lips look like melted licorice on a park bench and she cannotttt sit with us. Like my idol, Lisa Vanderpump, always says, “the crown is heavy darling, so just leave it where it is.” Thank you for reading and I'll see y'all next time.
The tea has been spilled and it's time for a “clean up! Aisle 14!”